God's grace is sufficient!

I am sure if you check my blog you have noticed that my blogging has been pretty slim pickin's the last few months.  I have plenty to write about, but well... I have been a little busy!  Having a 1, 2, 5 and 8 year old is hard work... and busy.  I know I signed up for it and please understand that I am not complaining!  It is my new reality.  I think of a friend from church that has 4 kids under 5 with the 2 youngest being twins and I am in awe!  I am a firm believer that God will equip us handle what we face and I know that is true for my friend and it is true for me too! 

I would be lying if I were to say that the last 5 months have been sweet sailing!  There have been many parts that have been, but there are also times when I lock myself in my bathroom, just so I can get a couple of minutes to myself!  I know that there are others out there that have done the same thing!  ADMIT IT!
There has been so much going on and many emotions running in the last few weeks.  The other day my mind was running a million miles a minute.  I can't really pin point the main thing running through my mind, but I was nearly in tears.  I am thankful that at those times the Lord provides me with just what I need.  The song  His Grace is Sufficient for Thee came to mind, out of no where!   I love how God does that!  I will share the lyrics with you later in this post.

It has been 5 months since Myah joined our family.What a blessing she has been to our family.  Amongst the blessing has there been struggle?  You bet!  I wish I could say that adoption is a walk in the park, but I would be lying if I said that.  It has many good aspects, but there are also many hard parts too.  The things that we have struggled with are different than the next persons struggles.  We have gone through 2 surgeries, struggles with night terrors, angry rages, hitting, nasty looks, tears for no apparent reason, and sleeping issues.  Myah has gone from crawling to walking and now running.  She once would not go near the stairs, and now she will climb up them.  Myah loves music and does well with keeping a good beat.  Berenstain Bears excites her.  We have speech therapy once a week and we are seeing progress in her verbal words as well as through sign language.  It is so precious to see her excitement when Laura comes to our home each Wednesday morning.

All of our boys love Myah.  Sometimes they don't give her the space she needs.  They get jealous.  They crave more attention and believe it or not, they chose to misbehave to get attention.  I hardly sit from the time that the 2 youngest get up.  Our laundry is over flowing (BADLY) most of the time.  The need to vacuum the floor more often is certainly there... and the number of socks in the living room keeps increasing.  I think that they multiply like bunnies!

My children get into things they are not supposed to.... they make messes and argue when it is time to clean them up.  Balls are thrown in my house (against my best efforts to prevent it) and glass has been broken as a result.  I have 2 babies that love to get in the wipes and pull them all out.  I have changed more diapers in the last 5 months than one could imagine.  I have a child that loves to open the used diapers, so we must put them in the diaper pail right away to avoid this. There are even times that I question what I was thinking to add a 4th child to our family. 

We went to Arizona for a weekend and Myah would have nothing to do with anyone but ME!  She chose to scream while I took a few minutes to go to the bathroom ALONE!  When we were seated on the airplane on our return flight home, daddy suddenly was wanted again.  GO FIGURE!  I tend to think that she just felt insecure and needed me to feel safe?!?!

Before Myah's surgery she would sign for drink, eat, more, please, thank you and all done.  Wearing arm bands for 2 weeks prevented the use of many signs.  While I still used them with her to figure out what she wanted, we have had wait outs for her to start using the signs again to express what she wants.  Screaming doesn't cut it.  Hitting is not the right ticket. She is back to her presurgery signing and she has added more words!

99% of the time I take Alexander to school in my jammies... and there are days that the babies don't even get dressed at all.

I have very little time for myself.  My "break" in when I go to the grocery store after the kids are in bed, and once a month Mom's in Action night at church.  It has been weeks since I was able to sit in an entire worship service, Sunday School or ladies Bible Study at church.

Today was our 6 month post placement visit with our social worker!  Prior to her arrival Sam and Myah were playing and reading books in their room.  I had been in there several times to check on them.  At just the time that Nikki was to come to my door I hear screaming!  I run to their room and they had emptied the bottom drawer of Myah's dresser and I assume had both climbed into the drawer.  Guess what happened?!??!  The Dresser fell onto them.  Thankfully the baby bed was there to catch it and I was just needed to rescue them from the fear that they experienced.  Of course, something fell behind the dresser and I could not get it to sit up.... nor could I reach the doll to move it.  Nikki knocks and I yell... come in and help!!!  She come running in and directs Alexander to get behind the dresser to remove the items that had fallen so I could set the dresser up.  SO MUCH FOR A CLEAN ROOM!  Sweet Nikki didn't seemed phased by that at all!  I sure hope her report doesn't include that part!  HA!  Just as the dresser was placed back in the proper location Jeff arrives home!  He missed out on the fun!

If you have been following my blog for a while you might recall the posts about my precious neighbors whose lives were taken by a drunk driver on July 4th.  Diane was so excited about Myah joining our family.  Diane and her daughter Anna were so elated everytime we got updates or new pictures!  Unfortunately, their lives were taken before we were able to bring Myah home.  I am oh so thankful that they are with Jesus, but I selfishly miss them terriably!  Diane was a dear friend that I could always count on.  At times, I still find myself looking out the window to see if her car is there, or pick up my cell phone to call her!  Certainly my heart doesn't ache in the way that her family does, but it certainly does not seem real yet either!

Diane loved VW Bugs!  Last week as I was taking Alexander to school, I saw a VW Bug that I had not seen before.  Diane would have been so excited!  The combination of my nearly constant state of tiredness, everything that incompasses the live as a mother of 4, the needs of our adopted child and the reality that last Friday the driver that killed them would be sentenced, and the sight of that VW bug brought me to tears! 

Shortly after the tears started, God brought to my mind the old Hymn called His Grace is Sufficient for Thee.  Here are the words:

My Grace Is Sufficient For Thee

Many times I'm tried and tested
As I travel day by day
`Oft I meet with pain and sorrow
And there's trouble in the way.
But I have a sweet assurance
That my soul, the Lord will lead
And in Him there is strength for every need.

CHORUS:
O, His grace is sufficient for me.
And His love is abundant and free.
And what joy fills my soul,
Just to know, just to know
That His grace is sufficient for me.

When the tempter brings confusion
And I don't know what to do,
On my knees I turn to Jesus
For He'll always see me through
Then despair is changed to victory.
Every doubt just melts away
And in Him there is hope for everyday.

Repeat Chorus

And what joy fills my soul,
Just to know, just to know
That His grace is sufficient for me.

This is not a great video, but you can atleast hear the song!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca9ON3oQh2A&feature=related

So there you have it!  The live in which we live!  I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world!  If you are thinking of adding to your family... don't let me scare you.  Let God's Grace be sufficiant for you too!